Knowing and Understanding
by ShadowWeaver29
Summary: To know and understand are two completely different things. She's said this many times to herself. She knows of the Uchiha Massacre and she also understands why it happened and how it happened. After all, how can she not when her best friend was the murderer himself?
1. Prologue

"I'm leaving." He said in a sullen voice. Silence pursued but it wasn't tranquility that was left in its wake.

"I know." He stared down at the girl leaning on him. Her eyes were clenched yet there was still tears streaking down her face. Her breathing was ragged and he knew that she was trying to conceal her sobs. Itachi grabbed her roughly and he saw her amethyst eyes open in shock for only a moment before he engulfed her into a hug. She broke down. She let herself sob and he let her cling onto him. "It's not fair! It's not fair to you or anybody really! Why can't they see that?" Her voice cracked and he only watched on with sadness.

"I know Naruto. I know." This only led her to cry harder. She looked up at him and saw a tear falling down his cheek and she reached up and wiped it away. She pulled him down onto the ground and once both were comfortable, she let her forehead rest against his. They stared into each other's eyes. Onyx met amethyst and a silent promise was made with a simple gaze. He leaned down and grabbed her face into both of his hands then kissed her. It wasn't soft nor was it hard, but it showed how he felt. He poured all of his emotions in a single kiss. Naruto only adverted her eyes, knowing she was _betraying_ her lover, even _if_ he _was_ dead.

"Itachi... I just want you to know that you''ll always have a home with me. Even if I can't love you the way you love me, just know that I'll always welcome you." He stood up and walked, about to begin his worst and last mission as a Konoha ninja. Just as he was about to leave her vision, he turned just enough for her to see his smile. It was beautiful and captivating and she felt her heart break at the undertone of that smile. It was a goodbye.

"Thank you for everything Hime..."With that said, he left in a flock of crows and Naruto sobbed loudly. Her body shook with sobs and her throat became sore from her crying and everything inbetween.

"Daisuki* Itachi..." She mindlessly made her way to Memorial Stone, ignoring those that got in her way or looked at her strangely, and stared at a particular name, Uchiha Shisui. He had died just recently and only three knew how, besides the perpetrators that is.

"I've lost both of my boys now. I couldn't keep my promise... From now on, I'll be sure to keep my promises, no matter the circumstances. I can't let anybody down ever again... That is my nindo, my ninja way..." She leaned forehead rest against the cold slate of stone and silently cried. She never did notice the man standing on the other side of the stone nor the fact that he stared down at her with sad eyes.

"Aishiteru* Shisui. I hope you're happy where ever you are. I wish you had stayed alive. I wish that what is about to happen, wasn't. I wish for many things, yet they won't come true. You had your wish to become loved by someone was granted," She stopped and let out a sob. "so why can't my wish to be stay with those I love come true. It seems that I only can grant wishes rather than receive them. I granted _his wish to be loved by me, if only for a moment,_ just now and I feel _horrible_ for it. Love can be many things, just like you told me. However...If this is love, then I don't want it. It only lasts for a fleeting moment before it crumbles into despair and leaves you with nothingness. Yet there is a part of me that says that love is something that will forever be with you and I believe that voice because I can't seem to let go of my love for you. Gomen ne, Shisui. I couldn't save you, like you saved me..." She wiped her tears away and got up and left the training ground and left to the Naka River. The man who had watched her the whole time and had listened to her the whole time was shocked. He hadn't known the truth of the pair.

 _But, who is her other boy?_ He left in hurry to report to the Hokage but unknown to the man, the Hokage was watching the whole time with a grim look on his face.

* * *

"Did you hear about what happened last night?" The woman paused then said, "Well, the entire Uchiha clan was murdered, but the youngest heir was spared. Apparently the oldest heir was the-" Naruto growled and the two gossiping women gasped.

"I suggest you shut the FUCK up if I were you. Otherwise..." Her amethyst eyes bled into a crimson color and they ran away from her after nodding their heads, taking her advice. Naruto made her way back to the Naka River and stared into the crystal clear water.

"Now, that wasn't nice, was it Naruto?" Her head whipped to side to find an old crippled man. She bared her teeth and growled yet again. Her whisker marks darkened and her pupils became more fox like.

"What the hell are you doing here?! It's all YOUR fault that they are gone! You FUCKING ASSHOLE! I swear to Kami-sama that you'll die by my hands." Glowing chains burst from her back and made their way towards Danzo only for them to be intercepted by multiple katanas. Naruto glowered at the Ne* shining and Danzo only leaned forward on his cane with a smirk on his face.

"I see you're quite mad at me. I only did my job as an advisor of Konoha. Everything I do is for Konoha. You'll understand one day... Or not." Her chains broke through the katanas and each chain killed one of the Ne ninja, leaving only the old man. Danzo's smirk vanished and was replaced by a frown.

"I see that you you're mad at me. It's to be expected after all. I am the one who killed your lover and sent your best friend away, never to return again." Naruto gave a smirk to Danzo before disappearing, leaving an after image in her wake. Danzo looked around to find a chain in his face before it entered his stomach. He choked on blood and left in a swirl.

"Fuck! I had him, and he escaped! I could've avenged him..." She fell to the ground and choked on a sob that threatened to escape her clutches. Naruto gripped her shirt where her heart lay. She looked up to the clear blue sky and cursed it. She cursed the Kami above for letting such a thing happen to her and her boys and finally to the Uchiha. Perhaps they did deserve it but did things have to turn the way the did. Shouldn't there be ways to solve things peacefully then resulting to such violent ways? Theses were some but not at all, all of the things she asked the Kami and herself.

After hours on end, her voice was finally lost to the world. Her anger was replaced with despair and her demeanor spoke of the sorrow she just _barely_ endured. She crumpled to the ground, her eyes shutting slowing. Before she was entirely taken out for the count, she whispered, "Maybe, just maybe, things will be alright." With those words spoken, her vision turned black and she fell unconscious.

Little did the young Uzumaki know that this was just the beginning of her suffering.

* * *

Word Count: 1,279

Daisuki: I love you (for family or friends)

Aishiteru: I love you (for lovers)

Ne: Root

Wow. That was really fun to write as I love writing a fem!Naruto and Shisui and of Itachi. So of course, I had to make a tragedy, romance, and adventure story including them. The paring as of right now will not be revealed because I like not telling people. It may become apparent in future chapters but for now, I seriously doubt it does. To make things clear, Itachi loves Naruto and Naruto only sees him as a friend, thus the term *daisuki* and Naruto was in a relationship with Shisui, with both loving each other, thus making Naruto use the term, aishiteru*. I will, in future chapters show how this came to be, but as this is only a prologue, I kept it short. Leave a review and tell how you felt about this chapter.

Naruto's age: 13

Itachi's Age: 14

Shisui's Age: 16


	2. Empty

Perhaps feeling wasn't needed. It had left her heartbroken and her soul tore. She had remembered when she hadn't felt anything before she had met her sun. It was awful, but she survived. She endured. However, it left her feeling empty. Empty was worse than being broken because one way she could mend her broken self up. One might argue that you fill right back up, but Naruto knew she wasn't strong enough to go through with that option. Plus, she had promised her sun that she wouldn't let go.

Naruto had things to do. She had people to protect. She had to live up to her best friend's image of her. So much to do, yet this she will endure. So she she opened her eyes.

* * *

Naruto yawned and blinked her eyes and saw that she was in a hospital. It was the room that only she was allowed in due to her tenant. It was run down and was disgusting in all senses. She looked down to her badly placed bandages on her stomach. Naruto got up and she went to the corner to where her soiled clothes were thrown. She took the dirty clothing and placed it on the bed and stripped, discarding her hospital gown, if you could call it that. She put on her clothing and cringed at the smell and the sight. As she was putting on her left shoe, the door creaked open. Naruto's eyes lit up with murderous intent and her hair lifted up and split into nine different parts.

There, standing in the doorway was the Sandaime Hokage. He wore a grim expression and his eyes were filled with pity. Her eyes, he noticed, were not blank as he suspected them to be, but rather filled with pain, anger, and grief. He couldn't decide which was better, her being emotionless or emotional.

"Hello Hokage-sama. I wasn't expecting a visit from you. If you would excuse me. I know I look horrible." As hard as he tried, he couldn't stop the flinch that came. Naruto smirked slightly before drawing her lips into a straight line.

"Hello Naruto. How are you?" _Are you angered by my actions?_ He can see the hesitation in her eyes before her eyes harden and he knew. He knew that their relationship would never be the same again.

"I'm fine." _I hate you_. "I must go and treat my wounds before they worsen, if you would." _I don't wish to see you._ His frown never left his face as he excused her and she left. He didn't notice the tear falling down his cheek even when he realized it wasn't raining.

* * *

"Sasuke..." Naruto fell to the ground in shock. She knew what was wrong with him. "But... He promised me... He said he wouldn't... Oh Kami-sama, don't let this be what I think it is." She picked herself up and flung herself onto him and checked him for wounds. "He knew what this would do to him... So why did he do it?" She looked up at the boy who was only a year younger than her. She stroked his hair and pushed away it out of his face.

Naruto pushed her feelings down and kissed his forehead. He was having nightmares and she couldn't help him. She got up and made her way to the window. She looked behind her and rushed to his side when she saw him thrashing. She calmed herself and took a deep breath and put her hands just above his head. A mist of gold surrounded her hands and seeped into his head. He calmed immediately.

"Gomen ne Sasuke-kun. Tsukuyomi. My little otouto should not have to be burdened with those memories. I don't think anybody could... but then again... Itachi did it..." _For you._ Naruto hugged him and moved to get off the bed when a hand grabbed her own.

"Please don't leave like the rest... Aneki." She nodded and let herself be pulled into his arms.

"You're safe now otouto... I'll stay with you. I won't ever leave you." _It's not like you ever alone in the first place. I would always be here for you._ She hushed his crying and let him hold her tightly. He needed it. Naruto did as well, but she just didn't know it.

"He-he..." She only nodded and he wept silently.

"I know... I know..." _But I also understand things that you weren't told..._

* * *

When the rain fell that night Naruto knew she wouldn't last very long feeling empty.

"I have to remember what it's like to feel. I have to remember what it was like when I first saw him. When we first talked. When we became friends. When we talked for hours on end. When he said 'I love you'. When I figured out that I loved him. The thrill of being in love. When he became something more than a friend. What it was like when he was still alive..." Naruto bit her lip as she tries to keep the sob she knew that she was sure to let out, if she hadn't done what she had done.

"I don't want to remember the feeling of seeing him covered in blood. The feeling of him saying 'I love you' one last time. When he said goodbye. When he kissed me one last time. When he held me for the last time. When he pulled away and smiled that oh so lovely yet sad smile and flickered away. When I knew I wouldn't ever see him alive again. I don't want to remember any of this." She gripped her neck with a strong yet loose hold and looked to the sky with a bittersweet smile on her face. The ANBU, who was watching her under orders from the Hokage, was ready to stop her if she did try to choke herself. Luckily the girl let her hands fall down to her sides.

"My love... is gone and I don't think I'll ever be able to accept that. At least not for a while. Shisui Uchiha is the only one for me. I know that I'll never fall in love with another because I can't bring myself to fall out of love with him. He was special. I felt things I've never felt before with him. They say that you'll always love your first the most, but Shisui will be my first and last." She hugged herself tightly and still looking to the moon, she wept. She wept for her love's death, for Itachi having to kill his own family, for Sasuke for losing his family, and much more. Unknown to her, her skin had become paler and her eyes had earned a ring of a lilac shade. After shedding her tears, she smiled, and for the first time in two months, it was genuine. With one last look to the sky, she shunshined away.

* * *

Word Count: 1,150

I know that this chapter is very short. I wanted to update this story rather quickly instead of dwell on it forever and let it be this short. I have many stories I have to work on but that doesn't mean I'll stop updating this specific story. The next chapter will be at _least_ 3k words. I'll probably update in two weeks. Maybe a bit longer, I don't know. Leave a review and tell me what you think! Ja ne!


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